…awake, kind of.
That however does not mean that I in anyway know what I’m thinking/talking about/feeling. Nope, I’m running on auto-pilot right now. And I mean like so much so that I can’t even complete a full thought, and sure as heck not open the prep book for the GREs that I’m taking in less than three weeks. (That may have been the worse decision that I’ve made in a long while, but hey I’m masochistic when it comes to guys, why not stretch that one out to real life too).
*****Extremely long break between that last bit and the below*****
For those who aren’t aware, I am both a Republican and a member of the “religious right” and all in all, this is an image that I ran away from for several years. When you go to a East Coast private school you have a lot of people that in all honesty judge you, and overtime I started to judge myself. But in the last six months I have become to cling closer to the identity and more so yesterday a dawning moment hit when I was reading an article by Joe Carter (if you are curious as to what the religious right thinks, read away). Current favorite comment from the article:
In a classical statement of ecumenicity, St. Augustine once said, “In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, love.” Those of us on the religious right should adopt a similar principle and clearly define the boundaries between what is essential and what is non-essential in matters of policy and politics.
Another shocking revelation to those who don’t know me…I am a proud alum of the Bush Administration.
That last line, may be the most controversial thing to write as I currently work for a young, progressive movement. And while I had issues with the administration, really….what I miss, is the loyalty that you find in the Bush White House. The Republican party may not be the most diverse, and we might need to evolve a bit, but within that party I have seen more compassion, loyalty and willingness to bend over backwards for your neighbor. Maybe it was just a White House thing, but I have started to crave what I left behind.
Maybe it’s me not having thick skin, and I’m sure that someone would tell me to grow up and deal with my issues, but the reason I started blogging (esp. anonymously) was to keep myself from exploding because I’m too passive aggressive for my own good.
But it could just be when you:
Can’t handle your job
Want a new job
Decide you dislike a national party but want to work to reform it
Think people are absurd
Crave party loyalty
Want to be left alone :)
I guess more than anything, I just wish I could say what I think. But that has never been me. Instead my emotional responses are as follows: I seethe internally and distance myself when I’m angry or annoyed, I become petulant when ignored, and I become irrationally aggravated when I feel that people aren’t well…thoughtful. Which, yes, I know…is a stupid thing to think.
Now I’m going to just stop thinking of work (and for the record, not all of my co-workers are bad), and just think about how I get a day off tomorrow.