a piece of my heart.


We got to know each other because a lot of things: our shared connection to undergrad, mutual friends, the love of certain restaurants, etc. She was the person who would sit in line with me for hours, just waiting with me, so that I could meet the Pioneer Women. She was the person, that when I needed to drive home (2 hours each way) to vote, came along as long as lunch was involved. She was the person that I could call on whim to go on a random drive, meet at the farmers market, eat an unplanned meal, or get coffee with me after physical therapy. All in all, she was, and will always remain, an amazing friend.

What kept us together however, especially most recently, was a bit of a different bond. Both of us bonded over caring about boys that we, in fact, aren’t dating and the neverending prodding of people with the question “so why aren’t you dating?” In the beginning, we would laugh over how much people tried to get involved with something that clearly wasn’t their business. By the end, our long talks were about everything under the sun, but a reoccuring one was if it was okay for her to love someone, who well, probably didn’t care in the same way. But in what some people would deem the ubber serious, we found laughter because, well, that is who she was. We laughed over our own absurdities, poked fun at ourselves. We were always there to provide a listening ear and a bit of encouragement and to point-blank tell each other when they had crossed into a crazy line of thought. I will never forget those moments. The constant support. The unceasing laughter. That joy.

I love you and miss you my dear, dear friend. You take with you a piece of my heart.

Kathleen Benz
aka the British Friend
September 22, 1984 – May 29, 2010

4 thoughts on “a piece of my heart.”

  1. I came across your blog through searching tags. I’m so sorry. I can’t relate to you in anyway other than sharing how I’ve had a friend like this before. I admire your willingness toshow the world how much love you have for your greatest friend. I’m sure she loved it too. Cause hey who said theres no WordPress in Heaven? Who made that a rule? I’m sure there is.

    There’s no such friend to replace the most important person in your life. You will find and build new relationships that I’m sure you’ll learn to appreciate just as much as her. I don’t know how hard it is for you, and I won’t dare say that “I know how it feels”, but nevertheless, I wish you the best. You will come out of this a stronger person. She wants you happy. That’s what a best friend would want. I’m sure if this scenario was flipped around, you would want the same thing for her. Smile and appreciate your life and take advantage of every day your given. I don’t know who you are, or your best friend, but speaking from the heart, I’m sure that’s what she hope for you to do.

    Keep doing the things that make you happy. That way you keep her happy. No one’s sad.
    I wish you the best.

  2. I just wrote a piece about loosing my brother and I appreciate your post so much and hope for you to recover and allow yourself to keep talking about this loss until it makes sense to you. Don’t force yourself to move on until you find that ray of sunshine one day because she will be shining through. Thank you for sharing

  3. thank you for this beautiful reflection on an even more beautiful girl… i can’t believe that she is really gone. all of those memories keep flooding my head – so many of those little things that you never pay a lot of attention to when you are in the middle of them, but mean so much more now.

    love you. miss HER.

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