a list of joy

There are some days where all I want to do is curl up in a ball and be weepy. If the mascara on my pillow case is any evidence, this may have happened a few times recently. When the moment hit in one of the most recent times (read: yesterday or today), I pulled out my notebook from Making Things Happen.

I just read it over and over and over again. When feeling down, I go straight to Emily Ley‘s letter, but when I’m feeling like a failure I go to one of the great exercises we did throughout the course of the day, the list of what fires us up. I have been rereading it many times over the past month and a half, but I finally took the time to type it up and share it for a whole host of reasons.

Lately it’s the word failure. In life, in friendships, in relationships [oh wait, those don’t exist], in work, and in planning my future. Oh, and most days I feel like a cow. Classy, eh? It’s hard to feel like something is going right when everything feels so blah. Add in a lot of emotional up down and it means one of two things…a doctor’s visit/blood work or I just need to get my head screwed on straight.

I say this like it’s the easiest thing in the world. but here is what I’m up against:

Feeling Uninspired
Lacking Creativity
Feeling Easily Left/Disposed of
Being the one who is there, but not the one who people listen to
Needing more positivity in life
Wanting to feel needed
Wanting to feel appreciated
and the list goes on and one

It should seem this hard, but in the midst of all of it there are things that are good. And sometimes the things that are good are used against us to make everything seems bad. But there is always a silver lining, or in my case, Call Me Maybe can always be found playing on some radio station in America and who can stay sad for too long when they are singing along with the vocals of Carly Rae Jepsen.

But in all seriousness, sometimes you just need a list that can make you smile. One that can remind you that when the tunnel seems dark there is a light switch of goodness right in front of you. And nothing is better then that.

Thanks MTH2012 Ladies for keeping me on the straight and narrow.

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