Lately, I have come to believe in the random.

The little gasps of joy.

And in true fashion, the music has been hitting home more then anything else right now. I recently updated my OS software on my mac (I’m two OS updates behind, oops) so each time leads to a million other updates which included an iTunes update. And of course, it resents iTunes each time so my standard playlist isn’t the first thing I see. So it opened, and I just hit play and the song that started playing was Aaron Shust’s “My Savior My God.”

It is mean to say, but for a hot second I was like, I don’t want to listen to this, I want always poppy Kelly Clarkson. But I left it. And then I replayed it. And then I listened again. And again. And in all honesty, it’s still replaying. All because of one line in the chorus:

“My God He Was, my God He is, My God is always gonna be.”

Because lately there have been a lot of little messages. Because at one time I would have said that life could be like a long dark tunnel where the light at the end if barely visible. And then I found these:

“I am a Christian because the self-hiding God of Isaiah 45 holds me even when I am in hiding, too.” — Lauren Winner for Relevant Magazine

“Being “sensitive” wasn’t a disease, and I wouldn’t let my emotional capacity cripple me. I took my emotional energy and threw it into doing good. Helping others. Making people smile. Working out. Acting. Writing. Reading. Sharing. Being. Loving. Finding joy.” — Kaety Kerman for the Good Woman Project

“I just couldn’t see, at that point, why a God who loved me would grab me by my hopeless, limp arm and drag me through the mud. But now, I realize, every day God dragged me through that mud was another day that he didn’t leave me and didn’t let me stop moving forward.” –Ali Morrison for the Good Woman Project

I don’t share the same background or even past pains with these women, but their strength and their voice give hope…it gives life. It makes people feel that they are not alone. It reminds then that if there isn’t a physical person in that dark tunnel with you there is a God who holds us while we hide in shame, and who will pull us toward good things no matter how much we want to be left where we are.

“I will go before you
and level the exalted places,
I will break in pieces the doors of bronze
and cut through the bars of iron,
I will give you the treasures of darkness
    and the hoards in secret places,
that you may know that it is I, the Lord,
    the God of Israel, who call you by your name.
For the sake of my servant Jacob,
and Israel my chosen,
I call you by your name,
I name you, though you do not know me.
I am the Lord, and there is no other,
besides me there is no God;
I equip you, though you do not know me,
that people may know, from the rising of the sun
and from the west, that there is none besides me;
I am the Lord, and there is no other.
I form light and create darkness,
    I make well-being and create calamity,
    I am the Lord, who does all these things.

Isaiah 45:2-7

01 My Savior, My God – Aaron Shust

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