life // death, taxes and being single

“You got: Destined To Be Single: Take a deep breath, but don’t worry. Some things in life are certain: Death, taxes, and you being single. You were single when you emerged from your mother’s womb and entered this world and there is a very good chance you might die single. But you don’t let it get you down!”


Oh Buzzfeed. I thought you were my friend. I mean you are always there for me when I want to procrastinate with a photo list of 80 things great about Benedict Cumberbatch. Recently you told me that I either should be with Christopher or Logan from Gilmore Girls. That I should get a tiny tattoo and the PLL character I am most like is Spencer. I mean, we were doing well together, you get me. And then, this.

Was it really necessary to put “Death, taxes, and [my] being single” into one sentence. I think not. Uncool, Buzzfeed. Uncool.

But for real and slight joking aside, I was recently astounded when I saw that a memoir had been published by Katie Heaney, a woman who has spent the first 25 years of her life single. And by single I mean, zero relationships single. I was stunned that clearly this was a topic odd enough that it got a book deal, then I was like, where the heck is my deal. I have spent 28 years understanding that when, at age 12, I announced I wanted to be a nun like the Reverend Mother on Sound of Music and the cute tiny one with the big voice on Sister Act, I didn’t actually mean it. I take it back. I mean, I’m not even Catholic. This isn’t working for me.

We focus so much on one aspect of life. People talk about their singleness as something that could lead to a life of unhappiness. There is so much more to worry about than that. Let’s be honest, while it would be lovely to have a permanent partner in crime who rolls their eyes at all of my crazy, it also is somewhat nice to have a giant bed all to myself.

Buzzfeed, you freaked me out for a hot second. You made me think what if. And then I remembered, I have thought what if a hundred times before about a hundred different things. No matter the what and no matter the if the answer is always the same, I will be living a full and fantastic life. My wholeness is not based on the thoughts and ideas of others and it sure as all get out isn’t based on my relationship status. It is about living whole lives, about connection and community, it is about faith in something that is bigger then me. It is knowing that my life is one small nugget in a bigger story. Because then, I know that I am enough. I know that the answer to what if questions are simple and over-thinking is overkill.

So, Buzzfeed, you can take your quiz and shove it. And death, taxes and my singleness aside, I’m going to have an awesome time living an amazingly whole and fulfilling and faith filled life.

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