life // it’s okay, I have slutty hair

“Worldly is that which is sensual, that which stimulates, titillates or inflames the flesh. This includes many dating activities such as kissing, touching (forerunners to sex), petting (sex with your clothes on), or dancing (sex with your clothes on standing up). It also includes how you dress. Certain dress and hairstyles are sensual because they make a sexual statement and stimulate the flesh. Christian young ladies need to understand that certain sensual dress and frizzy hairstyles say to a boy, “Try me, I might. ” They are a subtle offer of sex. That is what makes them popular and exciting, isn’t it?”

You guys, I have slutty hair. Words I never thought I would speak. I mean obviously I must think then all the time, cause when you have slutty hair, what else can you think.

The above came to me third hand, a friend of a friend has a mom that writes a uber-conservative mom blog. It is full of stories about not letting your kids date, how they shouldn’t be alone with their significant others before they wed, and other things that make me cringe. This however was the best statement. I mean, you guys, if this is true I may need to reconsider aspects of my life.

First, I dance.

I dance a lot. I love taking class. My life was ballet from a young age through my early 20s. Now it’s all sorts of stuff: jazz, lyrical, contemporary, pop, belly dance, jazz burlesque (Yeah, take a moment and digest that last one). And let me tell you, me in my t-shirt and yoga pants, I am just leading people astray left and right. At no point when dancing, do I think I am having sex standing up fully clothed. I mean first, cause it’s just me in a class full of people and second, that would be totally awkward and totally not PG at all. Sometimes, when going out dancing there are other people, and in my world those are church people. If dancing was having sex, standing up, fully clothed, do you know how awkward it would be to pass the peace on Sunday. “The peace of the Lord be with you, also sorry if we had fully clothed sex on a dance floor last night.” Yeah, no.

Second, frizzy hair.

I’m going to be honest, I wish my hair said, “try me, I might.” I would get way more dates if that was the case. I mean, it could be amazing! Pretty much I love it so, because it’s ridiculous. I have come hither hair! How can that be bad?

But mostly, I just laugh at our fascination with these things, especially in the church. Because I, according to the conservative set somewhere in America, am one step away from being the loose women of the night that I studied in college. No it wasn’t a training course, just the history of Europe. My hair does a decent come hither and my dancing is setting me up for a fall. Neither of those are even close to the truth. I feel most at peace when I am in dance. And well, the hair I can’t do anything about, it just grows that way. I mean, I could spend a lot of money to change it, but that just isn’t in the budget because, well, I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I work for a non-profit dance studio.

Funny how that works out.

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